


la douleur exquise

by astralnoon



Category: The Creatures | Cow Chop RPF
Genre: Alternate Universe - Childhood Friends, Alternate Universe - School, Beards (Relationships), Bullying, M/M, Mutual Pining, Popularity, Secret Crush, Snapshots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-23
Updated: 2021-03-23
Packaged: 2021-03-28 19:42:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 9,553
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30144642
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/astralnoon/pseuds/astralnoon
Summary: la douleur exquise- the feeling of wanting someone that you know you can never have, and knowing that you still want to be with them.orAleks loves James, but James threw him to the side to impress the popular kids.
Relationships: Aleksandr Vitalyevich Marchant/James Richard Wilson
Comments: 1
Kudos: 5





	la douleur exquise

**Author's Note:**

> So this… quite literally came to me in a dream? I just _had_ to write it lol

It hadn’t even been a full month since Aleks and his mother had moved to the US, yet he was already having to start at a new school. While 8 year-olds typically make friends very easily, it’s a bit harder when all of the other kids fully speak a language that you barely know. Even though he had picked up on some words from his new stepfamily and was starting English lessons with a tutor that his new father had paid for, Aleks still feared that the kids in his class would not be able to communicate with him. After sitting in the guidance office for what felt like ages, a plump but very friendly looking lady walks in and comes over to Aleks, crouching down in front of him with a smile. 

“Hello, Aleksandr,” the woman beams at him, “my name is Mrs. Brooks, I will be your teacher.” Mrs. Brooks speaks to him in a slow, but clear tone as she talks about her class expectations, the lessons her class is currently doing, and about how she and the guidance counselor will be here if he needs anything. When she wraps up the introduction, she holds out her hand for Aleks to take and begins to lead him to her classroom and as soon as they walk in, every head in the room turns to look at Aleks. 

“This is Aleksandr, but he prefers to be called Aleks,” Mrs. Brooks begins to introduce him, “he will be your new classmate for the rest of the year. He’s just moved here from Russia so I ask that all of us be patient with him as he becomes used to things,” the old panic Aleks had begins to come back when he realizes that he doesn’t know many of the bigger words that Mrs. Brooks just used, but he just plays along as the kids in the class chant their hellos to him. 

“I’m going to seat you next to James,” she tells Aleks as she points to an empty seat next to a dark-haired boy, “he’s a very nice boy and he’ll help you out.” The boy, James, just stares at Aleks as he walks over to the empty desk and sits his stuff down on the floor next to him. But when Aleks turns and looks at him after sitting down, James flashes him a small smile. 

“Have you ever had Doritos?” James quietly asks him when the teacher begins going over the math lesson for today. 

“What’s that?”

“They’re cheese flavored chips, uh…” James reaches down into his lunch box and pulls out a clear bag of orange triangles, offering it to Aleks, “try one! They’re really good.” Checking that he wasn’t being watched by Mrs. Brooks, Aleks hesitantly reaches into the bag and pulls one of the “Doritos” out, studying it for a bit as James looks at him. 

“They’re really good, I promise,” James smiles at him again and Aleks returns it before placing the chip into his mouth and crunching down on it as quietly as possible, pleasantly surprised by the cheese flavoring that quickly fills his mouth. 

“I told you that you would like it!” James exclaims a bit louder than he had meant to, catching the attention of Mrs. Brooks who stops talking to turn to the boys. 

“James, don’t drag Aleks into your troublemaking on his first day.”

“But he’s never tried Doritos before, and I wanted him to-“

“I’m glad you’re wanting to share some American things with Aleks, but please wait until lunch for that, James.” And with that, she turns back to her lesson. 

“I’ll give you more at lunch,” James says as he puts the bag back into his lunch box. 

~

The first time James invites him to his house, Aleks can’t believe it. They spoke a lot in class and at recess, yes, but Aleks had no idea that James saw him as a friend. When James gives him the note from his mom to give to his own, Aleks worries that she may say no until the two women have a phone conversation and she learns that James had been helping Aleks to become adjusted to his new school, happily telling Aleks that he may go as long as he’s ready to go when his dad picks him up at 8pm. Upon being dropped off, James is waiting on his porch alongside a woman that Aleks assumes to be his mother. 

“And this is?” James’ mother asks him. 

“This is Aleks! He moved here from Russia and we’ve become best friends!” _Best friends?!_ Aleks was still processing that James saw him as a standard friend, but _best friends?_ Aleks must be extremely lucky. 

“Oh, well hello, Aleks! I hope everything here has been alright for you so far,” Ms. Wilson smiles at him while inviting him inside of the house. James leads him up to his room where two other boys are already seated against his bed, Aleks recognizing the two as Joe and Brett from their class. 

“I’m not sure if you know them, but this is Joe,” James gestures to the longer haired boy, “and Brett,” gesturing to the other boy, who stares right through Aleks with a look that he’s not able to decipher the meaning of. 

“Why is _he_ here?” Brett inquires in a bit of a nasty tone. 

“Because we’re friends, Brett, why not?” Brett continues to silently stare Aleks down. 

“As long as he can play Mario Kart, I’m ok with him being here!” Joe breaks up the awkward tension and tosses a controller at Aleks, who just looks at it in confusion. 

“They probably don’t have that in Russia, Joe!” James yells at the long-haired boy, “but it’s ok, we can show him how to play.”

“ _You two_ can show him how to play, I’m gonna go get a snack,” Brett leaves the room to head for the kitchen. 

“What’s wrong with him?” Aleks turns to Joe to ask. 

“Oh, I think he’s just not sure how to feel about you,” Joe tells him. They drop the topic and James and Joe set into showing Aleks how the controller works and then specifically how to use it to play Mario Kart, letting him play a single player race on his own to practice as they watch him. When Aleks wins his first race, James and Joe loudly applaud him. 

“See, it’s not hard!” James grins at Aleks when he turns to look at him, “but wait until I play against you, it’s not gonna be so easy anymore.” Aleks had been so absorbed into learning the game that he hadn’t noticed Brett walk back in, the boy sitting on top of James’ bed eating an apple with the same indescribable look on his face. 

“We’re all gonna kick his butt,” he says as he finishes the apple and tosses the core at Aleks, “I’m the _true_ Mario Kart champion here and he’s just a noob.”

“A what-“

“He just means that you’ve never played this game before,” James explains to Aleks. The four boys start playing the game, Brett seemingly making a point to seek out Aleks and mess with him at every opportunity but Aleks doesn’t allow it to bother him, instead seeing it as more reason to beat him. After four races, Aleks end up coming out on top, followed by Brett, James, and Joe. 

“Nice, Aleks!” Joe congratulates him on the win and James is wearing a big grin as well… Brett, on the other hand, wasn’t quite as friendly. 

“He just got lucky,” he says in a dull tone, “I decided to go easy on him this time since he never played before.” Brett abruptly stands up, walking out of the room as he announces “I’m calling my mom to come pick me up.” 

“Wait why?” James follows after him, “you’ve only been here for two hours.”

“Because of _him_ ,” Brett points directly at Aleks, “I don’t want him here but you won’t make him leave. So I’m leaving instead.” Aleks silently sits and watches Brett disappear as he stomps down stairs, faintly hearing him tell Ms. Wilson that he doesn’t feel good and wants to go home. Aleks still has no idea on what he did to Brett, but feels a bit hurt after what just happened. 

“Forget about Brett,” Joe speaks up, “the three of us can have fun together, right?”

“Yeah, Joe is right. Here, I have some more games if you don’t wanna play Mario Kart anymore,” James reveals a small pile of game cases and the remaining boys sort through them, quickly forgetting about Brett and having their own fun.

~

Even with Brett’s nonstop judgement of James being friends with Aleks, James didn’t allow it to stop him from hanging out with either boy, however he _quickly_ learned to not have them near each other. Elementary school quickly went by, James remaining as Aleks’ sole friend but he did not mind because he knew that James would have his back for everything. 

Until middle school came along. 

The start of middle school brought along many new classmates, Brett having found himself immediately assimilated into the popular group and he soon brought James and Joe in as well. Through this, they made many more friends and soon the entire school seemed to absolutely _love_ them. 

But that left Aleks to the side. 

While it didn’t bother Aleks that the popular group didn’t want him, he was worried about James forgetting about him. But as he had done in elementary school, James made time for Aleks except now it was only _outside_ of school, only acknowledging him during school if the two shared classes together. Aleks knew that Brett had to be the reason that James seldom spoke to him during school anymore, especially as it started to become increasingly obvious that Brett was becoming the new leader of the popular group and had presumably spoken badly of him to the other kids. James wouldn’t even sit with him on the bus in the morning anymore, instead sitting with a dirty-blond boy that he thinks James called “Asher” once. 

Thankfully he’s not alone at school for long, a boy that shared many classes with him named Eddie ends up befriending Aleks, who begins calling the boy “Sly” as a nickname after his Xbox gamer tag. Sly is nice and funny, sure, but he’s no James; even if he still calls him to talk on the weekend, Aleks can’t help but worry that Brett is going to take James from him. 

“What’s the story with you and James Wilson?” Sly asks Aleks one day at lunch, “you talk about him constantly but he never pays attention to you.”

“We were best friends in elementary school, we knew Brett Hundley then too but he always hated me.”

“I _knew_ that Brett seemed like a dick!” Sly looks over at him from where he and James are sat with other kids, all of whom are wearing nicer clothing vs Aleks in a dark hoodie, jeans, and a pair of Vans all worn out from months of wearing, washing, and walking. 

“James is really nice, though; he was the first friend I made when I immigrated here,” when Aleks looks at the table himself, he sees James between the Asher kid from the bus and a pretty blonde girl who seems quite snug to James. Before Aleks can look away, however, James catches him and the two briefly lock eyes before Aleks tears his away to look back at Sly. 

“Not for long with _that_ group; that girl he’s sitting near, Lindsey? She used to bully me in 4th grade when we were in the same class and from what I’ve heard, Asher and Anna aren’t very nice to other kids either.” Aleks presumes Anna to be the brunette girl at the table, but as he studies the three new kids he struggles to see any of them as being mean… but then again, he had presumed Brett to be nice and look at how he ended up being. 

“Forget about them, my mom was wondering if yours would let you come to the mall with me Saturday?” Sly recaptures Aleks’ attention and he thinks for a bit. 

“She usually likes to speak to my friends’ parents before I hang out with them.”

“No problem,” Sly takes out a piece of paper and writes down a number, sliding it over to Aleks, “that’s my mom’s number, she works until 6 during the week so she can call any time after that.” Aleks folds the paper and sticks it in his pocket. As he looks back up he feels someone watching him, turning to see James staring at him; this time however, Aleks does not keep looking at James when he catches him.

~

James isn’t sure how long he ends up watching Aleks as he sits and talks with a different boy, but he’s silently grateful that Aleks had found another friend at school. He feels bad that he can no longer speak to him here, but he needs to keep up a good image to stay in the popular group… even if he’s still not entirely sure how they liked him enough to include him. 

“You’re not looking at Marchant again, are you?” Asher elbows James suddenly, breaking him from his train of thought. 

“I’m like, 99% sure he’s worn that same hoodie all week,” Anna says with a mild look of disgust, “the shoes for sure; probably the jeans too.”

“It must suck to not own enough clothes to only wear the same thing once every two months,” Asher laughs as he reaches an arm across the table to grab Anna’s hand, who pulls away before he can touch her. 

“Oh, I can tell you guys right _now_ that you’re right. He’s always worn the same hoodie and pair of shoes nonstop; I could NOT do that!” Brett interjects and the rest of the table mutters their agreements except for James. He has no idea as to why Brett had always hated Aleks, but his hatred of him ran so deep that the second the popular group began to pay attention to him, Brett made sure that they would not like Aleks either. 

“Don’t tell me that you actually _feel bad_ for him, James?” Lindsey turns to him when she realizes that he hadn’t said anything when Brett made his statement, “I know you guys used to be friends or whatever but that’s the past.” 

“Of course I don’t. I was just thinking about how long it must be since that hoodie last saw a washing machine,” James says the first bully-esque thing he can think of, silently wincing to himself at how effortlessly he was just able to insult his best friend. 

“Oh my gosh, right?” Anna speaks up, “it must be _so dirty_. You couldn’t _pay me_ to touch that thing.”

“Anna, don’t your parents already give you a $50 weekly allowance?”

“Why does that matter, Asher, I still wouldn’t touch that disgusting thing.”

“The boy or the hoodie?” Asher asks while giggling. 

“BOTH!” Anna exclaims and the whole table erupts into laughter, James faking his own. He takes one last glance at Aleks, who has moved to sit on the opposite side of the table facing away from James. 

~

“Oh yeah, uh, Joe’s family moved to California a few weeks ago,” James casually tells Aleks as they sit in Aleks’ room, the first time they’ve gotten to hang out together this summer, “his dad got a pretty cool job offer in San Diego.”

“Thanks for the heads up,” Aleks deadpans as he finishes off a second can of Coke, crushing it and throwing it vaguely in the direction of his trash can. 

“Hey, look,” James says to get Aleks’ attention, “I’m sorry that I don’t talk to you at school anymore. Brett kind of made himself the leader of the popular kids and he’s made sure that none of them like you.”

“It’s fine,” Aleks knows that it’s really _not_ fine but if James wants to maintain his image, then that’s up to him. He just wishes that maintaining that image didn’t include being embarrassed to be seen with him at school. 

“Still, I have _no clue_ how the popular kids liked me enough to want me to be part of them…” James sets off on a long tangent that Aleks begins to tune out as he looks at James. Like himself, James had begun to grow out his hair, but where Aleks’ was a slightly curly brunet, James’ was a _very_ curly black and he found himself silently envying him for it. And when James smiled, his face would light up the entire room quicker than actual sunlight, honestly it’s no wonder that everyone loved James: he was nice, funny, and… attractive? _Does_ Aleks find him to be attractive? He has not much time to think as his dad soon calls the boys downstairs to eat lunch, making sure to walk out of the room before James so that he doesn’t have to watch him as they walk to the kitchen.

~

“I’ve told you to watch your locker door, asshole!” Asher slams the locker shut, Aleks barely moving his hand before it gets crushed by the door. Middle school had already been bad enough with James leaving him for the popular kids, but now it’s _even worse_ that Asher First had his locker assigned to the number next to Aleks’ meaning that he was stuck next to him for this entire year. 

“It wasn’t even in your way,” Aleks scowls, “and I was almost done so you can wait like three seconds.”

Asher sneers at him, “do you _really_ think that I can be intimidated by an emo little bitch like you? I bet I could break you in half without even trying.” While Aleks didn’t want to think about it _too_ hard, Asher and especially Brett had both begun to build up a bit of muscle after joining the football team meaning that they probably _could_ break him. 

“And _you_ think that you can scare me? You just think you’re hot shit because your family is rich.”

“Rich _and_ popular, unlike you; it’s what happens when your family owns one of the most beloved cafés in town, you should try that sometime. Maybe then you’ll stop wearing that same tattered hoodie all the time,” Asher stares daggers through him, then he takes notice of the earbuds in Aleks’ ears and tugs them out, “what’re you listening to, that Chemical whatever band you weird fucks pray to?”

“One: I’m listening to Skrillex. Two: the band is called My Chemical Romance.”

“And you think that I care, _why?_ ” 

“Did I say that you did-“

“Well, you felt the need to explain it to me, dickhead! Just get out of my fucking way,” Asher shoves Aleks to the side, his shoulder slamming into the wall of lockers. 

“What was that for?”

“You wouldn’t get out of my way, so I had to move you.” Aleks could honestly _fight_ Asher right now. 

“You shoved me immediately after asking me to move, I didn’t have time-“

“Asher, back off of him already.” The two boys turn to the source of the voice: James. 

“Oh, now what? You’re a _savior_?” Asher glares at James. 

“You fucking heard me, First. Leave him alone and go to class, aren’t you one tardy away from after school detention for your science class?” Asher groans, grabbing his stuff and storming off to his next class. When Asher is out of sight, James turns to Aleks, “are you alright? I saw him push you.”

“My shoulder is sore, but he didn’t really hurt me,” Aleks rubs at his shoulder from where it still hurts from the impact. 

“Should I walk you to the nurse? Even if it’s not bad, an ice pack might help it.”

“No, it’s alright, James-“ before Aleks can finish his sentence, James begins dragging him in the direction of the nurse’s office. 

“It’s _not_ alright. I wish I had been there sooner so I could’ve stopped him,” James sounds a bit angry as he speaks, Aleks finding himself surprised that James still cared this much about him. When they step inside of the office Aleks tells the nurse that he fell on his shoulder, not wanting to report Asher and give him more reason to hate him, and she gives him an ice pack and then gives both boys a slip to class before sending them on their way. James decides to escort Aleks to his next class too, walking closely next to him as they make the trek up the staircase. 

“Aleks listen, if Brett or Asher try to come after you for any reason, you _need_ to tell me. I’ll make them back-“

“I thought you were too concerned about looking good to the other popular kids to care about me during school?” James opens his mouth to retaliate, but quickly closes it. 

“I- I need to get to my class. I hope you feel better, though,” and then he borderline runs away from Aleks. 

~

While Asher never directly confronts Aleks again for the rest of that year, he does act very passive aggressively toward him when the two are at their lockers at the same time. Muttered comments of “stupid bitch” and “you’re lucky I don’t beat your face in” are thrown at Aleks at every opportunity that Asher sees. Aleks knows better than to tell James though, knowing that either Asher would end up actually hurting him or that James had been lying when he said he’d do something. Even Sly agreed that James probably wouldn’t do anything:

“He cares _way_ too much about sucking up to Hundley and the rest of that group to actually stand up to them. That one time he confronted First was probably just because he happened to be nearby and he knew you’d be mad if you saw him and realized that he didn’t do anything.” 

Eddie quickly came to be Aleks’ new best friend when the two met in 6th grade, Aleks feeling as though he could tell him anything. But there was _one_ thing that Aleks knew that he couldn’t tell him. 

~

Aleks had hoped that high school would go smoother than middle school, but as usual he was wrong. Freshman year for the most part was alright, minus having English with Anna who would spend the better part of her time staring him down in silent judgement. But it was toward the end of that year when it became evident that Aleks was quickly losing his best friend. 

For a final group project in English, Aleks was partnered with Anna, who much to his surprise… actually didn’t treat him too badly. She did her share of the work, working peacefully alongside Aleks and talking about how she wanted both of them to have an A for their final major grade. 

But then the last day happened. 

Right as the two turned in their project, Anna suddenly changed in disposition toward Aleks. When they were reseated, she swiftly turned to him. 

“I don’t know if you’ve heard, but James has been talking _a lot_ of shit on you.” 

“What the fuck are you talking about? James and I are still close.”

“That’s what _you_ think. Just this morning, he was telling Brett about how you frequently steal from a gas station near your house, and Brett was talking about turning you in to the police.”

“I’ve never stolen anything, what?”

“Might wanna tell James that, then,” Anna says dully and then she grabs her stuff to go sit in a different seat on the opposite end of the room. Aleks refuses to believe that James would make a claim like that about him, it’s just not _like_ James to do that. Deciding that Anna had made it up to fuck with him, Aleks shoves it to the back of his mind and almost forgets about it. 

That is, until Brett approaches him as he’s walking to the buses. 

“Wilson’s told me that you’re a bit of a kleptomaniac? Might wanna watch your back, I’d hate to see you get deported over stealing a pack of Reese’s Cups,” he sneers at Aleks, eyes full of maliciousness. 

“I’m _not_ a fucking thief, and whoever started this needs to shut their fucking mouth.” Brett feigns surprise at Aleks’ statement. 

“ _Aleksandr Marchant_ is threatening to confront someone? I never thought I’d see the day!” Brett exclaims, “maybe James should keep talking shit, looks like it’s helping you to grow a backbone!” Aleks walks off as Brett keeps rambling on about James and the various things he’s said about him. He feels as though he could cry as he gets seated at the back of the bus, he had been so sure that James wouldn’t say such things about him; but he was wrong. It probably wouldn’t be long at all before people he had never spoken to before would be coming up to ask him why he was a kleptomaniac, a pyromaniac, or whatever other bullshit rumor James would spread on him. 

At this rate, Aleks wouldn’t be surprised if James somehow found out about his secret crush on him. 

~

“On _JAMES???_ ” Sly yells at Aleks from where the two are sitting in Sly’s car in the parking lot of a closed Target one night. 

“Yes, James.” Aleks immediately regrets saying anything to him, while he knew he could tell Sly about anything, he _also_ knew that he should have kept his mouth shut on this particular subject. 

“Aleks, you _know_ that James has been distancing himself from you, and now you’re gonna tell me that you have a crush on him?”

“I hate it too, Eddie!” Aleks is telling the truth when he says this. As something of an “outcast”, Aleks openly having a crush on a popular kid would result in nothing but laughs from everyone else. 

“You’ve gotta move on, dude. It’s for the best,” Sly passes the bag of chips over to Aleks, “I’ve heard some of the rumors he’s spread about you and they’re really nasty.”

“Anna told me when we were freshmen. I didn’t wanna believe it but when Brett confronted me later that day, that’s when I knew she was telling the truth.”

“Ah, the _one time_ someone from that group was useful?” Sly laughs at the thought, “but for real, I’m sorry that he’s putting you through all of this shit.”

“It’s whatever, I’ve already gotten the message that he’s done with me.” Aleks acts unbothered on the surface, but deep down it absolutely _pains_ him to think about how quickly James has turned on him since middle school. They used to be such close friends, what the fuck had happened… aside from Brett and the other popular kids. 

~

James absolutely _hates_ what he’s done to Aleks. 

Did he _really_ throw away his closest friendship in order to look cool to some stupid rich kids? But it’s too late now, the false rumors he’s spread on Aleks have already done their damage and even Aleks himself knows that James is the source of them. 

James always wondered how he was supposed to tell him that he had a crush on him, but now he knows that he can’t. Who on earth would date someone that has actively worked to tear them down? The thought of Aleks threatens to destroy James from the inside out, so many restless nights thinking about how _hurt_ Aleks must be in light of this shitshow… if only he could go back to middle school and turn down Brett’s offer to introduce him to Anna, Asher, and Lindsey; he’d still be close to Aleks and who knows, they might even be dating right now. 

But on the other hand, Lindsey is a great person and James is glad to have met her. 

While not very fond of one another upon their first meeting, over time in middle school Lindsey would talk to James more and more, their friendship becoming solidified in 8th grade when half of their classes were shared together. Lindsey was someone that James was able to confide in with just about everything… just not about Aleks. 

James saw Lindsey as his best friend (second best friend? Honestly, what does Aleks think of him at this point?) and he had assumed her to see him in a similar light, and while she did… turns out James wasn’t the only one with a secret crush. One Friday after their last period, Lindsey walked up to James as he walked to his car and confessed her feelings to him and even though he didn’t feel the same, James knew that this would serve as an opportunity to get over Aleks so he accepted. James becomes used to having Lindsey as his girlfriend, the physical touches serving as a wierd comfort during his internal conflict with his former best friend. James… actually forgets about him for a while and things are peaceful for him…

… that is, until Aleks just so happens to walk by one afternoon as James kisses Lindsey. 

~

Aleks swears that his heart stops when he sees it. 

James kisses Lindsey Washburn at the end of school, and he looks _really_ into it too. 

Aleks had heard rumors that the two were dating, but he ignored them. Even if he knew that he couldn’t have James, some sadistic part of his brain still convinced Aleks that he could possibly stand a chance with him; but now he sees that he _truly_ would never stand a chance. James happens to look up and see Aleks looking at him, and he looks like he’s about to say something but Aleks walks off before he’s able to. Today, Aleks decides that he’s going to walk home, he’ll just tell his parents that he missed the bus. He puts in his earbuds and shuffles a random playlist, hoping to get his mind off of what he just witnessed. 

His iPod picks the absolute worst time to play I Don’t Love You. 

While being openly emo isn’t something that Aleks is exactly _ashamed_ of, he knows that it’s not anything to brag about. Especially when it results in him openly crying over a song like this when walking home from school. It’s not even James’ fault, exactly, that this has happened, it was Aleks letting _himself_ think that he’d ever stand a chance with him that’s caused him to get his heart broken. And now he’s paying the price for it by walking nearly three miles home in the sweltering sun crying to fucking My Chemical Romance of all bands. 

He just hopes that James is happy with Lindsey, if at least that then Aleks could eventually be happy for him too. 

~

The next week, Sly asks Aleks if he’s heard about James and Lindsey; he simply tells him yes and then changes the subject. 

~

Sophomore year ends and junior year begins, James finding that he’s still not returning Lindsey’s feelings. He feels bad that he’s essentially leading her on, but it’s the only way that he can keep his mind off of Aleks, even if only for a few minutes at a time. But eventually, James realizes that he’s only hurting himself more by letting this carry on, so he decided that it’s time to put a stop to it. 

_“Can we meet @ Asher’s family’s restaurant later?”_ James texts Lindsey after his last class. When he gets home and rechecks his phone, he sees her agreement and tells her a time. Upon arriving at the café and locating Lindsey at a table away from other patrons, James makes his way over to her and sits down. 

“What’s up?” She asks him, but at first James hesitates to answer her. 

“Uh, look; you’re a great person, but I… I don’t really see our relationship going anywhere.” James refuses to look up at Lindsey, not wanting to see the hurt that must be on her face right now. 

“Oh… hey, it’s ok,” she speaks up after a bit, “I’m glad that you were honest about this instead of trying to lead me on.”

“Are you sure? The day you asked me out, you seemed _super_ into me and I don’t wanna hur-“

“James, I said that it’s ok; but I feel like there’s something else here that you wanna talk about.” James could almost laugh at how easily Lindsey can read him; after all, she was his best friend… well, second best friend after Aleks, assuming he still wanted to speak to James. 

James draws in a deep breath before starting, “Lindsey, I’ve had my eyes on someone else for a while now.”

“It’s that Aleks guy, isn’t it?” Once again, Lindsey reads James like a book and he chuckles. 

“Yep, it’s the Aleks guy.”

“So… do you need help asking him out?” James winces when she asks. 

“No, and probably never; by now he _has_ to know that we’ve been dating and on top of how I’ve been treating him, I wouldn’t be surprised if he hates me now.” Lindsey reaches a hand across the table and pats James on the arm. 

“You’ve known him since you two were like, 8 right? If he’s stuck with you for _this_ long after how you’ve been treating him, there’s always the chance he could feel the same way.”

“Even if he did, you _know_ how Brett feels about him; he’s made Anna and Asher feel the same way. The second I were to start dating Aleks, I would be kicked to the curb.”

“Well…” Lindsey trails off while thinking of what to say, “I guess you just need to think about who you wanna be with more. But whichever choice you make, I’ll support you… _although_ I think you need to go after Aleks.”

James smiles at her, “I assume that you’ve made yourself my wingman?”

“Of course! You’re my best friend, why _wouldn’t I_ be your wingman?” James always admired Lindsey’s attitude: somehow always cheerful and upbeat, even on bad days; it’s no wonder everyone (well, almost everyone) loved her. 

“Thank you, Linz,” James smiles at her, “as long as I have at least one supporter, I’ll feel ok trying to win him over.”

“I think for right now, we need to keep ‘dating’ so that we don’t arouse any suspicion. When you think you’re ready to shoot your shot with Aleks, we’ll ‘break up’ about a week or so beforehand-“

“Hey, guys!” Asher abruptly walks over to the table and Lindsey stops talking, hoping that he hadn’t caught any of their previous conversation, “didn’t know we were having a group meet up today.”

“Oh no, James is taking me on a date,” Lindsey fakes a smile at Asher, who scrunches his nose up in fake disgust. 

“Say Asher, when do you plan on asking Anna out-“

“Hey, HEY I’ve been trying to ask her out for months but it’s never good timing-“

“ ‘Months’, dude it’s been _years_ ,” James says matter-of-factly. Before Asher can retaliate, his father yells for him to come help in the kitchen and he leaves James and Lindsey with a wave. 

“Anyway,” Lindsey begins after checking that Asher is out of earshot, “we’re fake dating now, we fake break up before you ask Aleks out, no matter what Brett and the others think I’ll have your back.”

James stands up and walks over to Lindsey, taking her into his arms in a hug, “thank you, Lindsey. I’ll tell you when I’m ready.”

~

There’s one quarter left in this school year. 

James _needs_ to go for it already. 

He tells Lindsey that he’s ready, and she’s somehow more excited than he is. The two have their “break up”, posting on social media that they’ve decided to return to being just friends. Brett takes the opportunity to try and pounce on Lindsey for himself but she’s quick to shut him down, much to his dismay. Since there’s still a weekend left for spring break, James uses this as his opportunity to reach out to Aleks, with the help of Lindsey figuring out a message to send to him that will convince him to meet with him:

_Aleks,_

_I’ve been super shitty to you for years now, and I continually beat myself up for it. You were my best friend and it was stupid of me to throw all of that away just so I could impress some kids that live on daddy’s money. I’ll do anything for you to forgive me, but I at the very least ask that you come by my house so that we can talk this out face to face._

When James sends the message, he almost fully expects for it to be ignored and that all of this will have been for nothing. It’s not like he doesn’t deserve that, though. Seconds turn into minutes, and slowly threaten to turn into hours but then finally, James’ phone rings. A message from Aleks is on the screen:

_This better be worth my time and not you looking for more lies to spread about me_

Around 15 minutes later, James hears a knock downstairs and his mom opens the door to let the guest in. Said guest then walks up the stairs and reveals himself to be Aleks, who stands in the doorway looking at James for what feels like an eternity before he slowly walks in and sits on the opposite end of the bed from James. 

“Feels like forever since I’ve been in here,” Aleks looks around the bedroom, “it looks different in here, yet it weirdly feels the same?”

“I owe you _endless_ apologies, Aleks,” James starts. 

“Yeah, you don’t say?” 

“No, I’m serious. When you moved here from Russia, I was your first friend. I was patient with you as you became used to how we do things here, helped you with learning and improving your English, I was… a fucking _friend_ to you. Even when Brett immediately hated you, I didn’t allow that to drive us apart in elementary school. But then middle school happened, Brett got noticed by some rich kids and I allowed him to drag me into their group too. And if that hadn’t been bad enough, I _never once_ tried to stop him when he spoke negatively of you to them.” James has to pause when he begins to feel himself choke on tears, so deeply ashamed of how he treated Aleks. 

“You got a taste of that high of feeling important among your classmates, and you were addicted immediately.”

“Pretty much,” James responds to him, “I wish to this day that I could tell you exactly _why_ Brett never liked you but not even he would tell me. Asher and Anna blindly believed all of it and at first I assumed Lindsey to do so as well, but as I found out a few months ago, she never bought any of it. She’s… actually why I’m even here right now.”

“Oh, good for you; your girlfriend talked some sense into you,” Aleks rolls his eyes. 

“She was never my girlfriend,” Aleks then looks quite shocked, “she had asked me out, yeah, but I never once felt anything toward her other than friendship. She knew about it, and was thankfully ok with it. 

“Wait but… why pretend to date Lindsey for months?” And _here_ it is. The panic rolls through James when he realizes that it’s time to tell Aleks; there’s no turning back now. 

“Because Aleks… I was trying to distract myself from you.”

“You needed a pretend girlfriend to forget about your ex-best friend?”

“He wasn’t just that to me. That ex-best friend… he was also my first crush,” Aleks goes slack jawed when the words leave James’ mouth, “but I didn’t realize that until after I had already spread terrible lies about him. Lies that existed for no reason except to make me look good to a trio of rich brats that thrive on spending daddy’s money to feel good about themselves.”

“James… it’s mutual.” James turns to Aleks with a look of confusion, “obviously _not_ the whole ‘stabbing my best friend in the back to look cool’ thing but I mean about being my first crush and not realizing until it was too late. Sly wouldn’t let me live it down when I told him  
about it, he’d always tell me that I needed to move on because you obviously didn’t care for me anymore but I _always_ knew deep down that the old you was still there.” Neither boy can believe what they’ve just heard; they had both been so sure that the feelings they had were one-sided, that the other wanted absolutely _nothing_ to do with him anymore… yet here he is, telling him that he still wants him and that those feelings were mutual. 

“So…” Aleks breaks the silence that had formed, “I’d ask if this means we’re dating, but then again your friends-“

“I don’t give a fuck about any of them. I don’t give a fuck that this is gonna get me kicked out of the group, and I sure as hell don’t give a fuck about how this makes me look to the rest of the school now. I want you back in my life, Aleks; both as my best friend _and_ as my boyfriend.” A smile swiftly grows across Aleks’ face, the boy practically throwing himself across James’ bed to embrace him as tightly as he can, not wanting to risk losing him again if he were to let go. 

A smile consumes James’ face too, heart feeling as though it could burst from the amount of excitement coursing through his veins right now.

~

“Brett, you _can’t be serious??_ ” Lindsey yells at him, standing beside James and Aleks as Brett, Anna, and Asher stare the duo down. 

“Oh, but I _am_ , sweet Linz,” he draws out, “James _knew_ that this was the _one_ person he was to never associate to again and now that’s he’s not only done that as a friend but as a _fucking boyfriend_? There’s only one thing to do with him.”

“Throw me to the side, then. I should have _never_ let you bring me into this group and tear me away from my best friend-“

“I’m sorry, are you calling _this motherfucker_ your best friend when you’ve known _me_ for much longer?” Brett seethes pure rage and even jealousy at hearing that he was never James’ best friend, and Aleks could easily laugh at him right now. 

“Yes, I am. Lindsey has always been a better best friend than you as well. Unlike _you_ , she’s willing to give someone a fucking chance.” The intense stare down seems to never let down, James and Brett staring daggers through one another. 

“Out of my fucking face, Wilson. Don’t _ever_ let me see you try to come back over here and especially _not_ with this bastard,” Brett spits at him before turning around and walking off, Anna and Asher not hesitating to follow him. Only Lindsey remains, sadly looking at James and Aleks. 

“I’m sorry, you two; it was heavily assumed that Brett wasn’t going to take well to Aleks being added in.”

“Honestly, he’s always had some sort of problem with me. Doesn’t bother me that he wants nothing to do with me,” Aleks grabs one of James’ hands and strokes it with his thumb absentmindedly, “I’m just glad that at least one of you was a decent person.”

“Well I wasn’t always nice toward you either. I began to realize that James seemed to still care about you, and after we began ‘dating’ it was _super_ obvious and it made me realize that I really never hated you either; I was just blindly going along with what Brett was telling me to feel about you and I’m certain that Anna and Ash-“

“LINDSEY, GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE!” Brett finally notices her absence. 

“Well anyway, good luck you two. Hope everything goes well,” Lindsey gives James a hug before running over to Brett and the quartet walk out of sight. 

“I feel bad for her,” Aleks speaks after a bit, “she’s genuinely a really nice person but she seems to think that she _has_ to follow Brett around.”

“One day, she’ll be like me and realize that that’s the worst mistake she ever made, but I imagine she didn’t sabotage an old friendship to appease him so maybe not.” James leans over to give Aleks a kiss on the cheek and the two walk out hand-in-hand to leave school, Aleks doing his best to ignore all of the eyes that are glued to him as they walk to James’ car.

~

Aleks had always told himself that he didn’t care for popularity, or how his fellow peers saw and felt about him… 

…or so he thought. 

By the next day word has already spread around school that James Wilson broke up with his girlfriend for one of the outcast kids and found himself exiled from the group. He and Aleks brace themselves for backlash that they know will be coming for them once Brett has a chance to throw around his own false rumors on the duo. 

But instead, the opposite happens. 

_Brett_ is the one to fall from grace and while Asher decides to stick with him, Lindsey immediately goes with James, and Anna is not far behind her. Come to find out, when the school hears that you’ve disowned your best friend for dating someone they’ve loved for years, no matter their social status, it makes you look like quite the asshole; and it doesn’t help when you already have a reputation for having a large ego. 

At first Sly is on edge when Aleks tells him the news, still not sure that he can be trusted. But when Aleks forces a meeting between the two, Sly is quick to change his mind and he finds himself immediately hitting it off with James. Lindsey even apologizes to him for her past bullying, admitting that she’s always felt self conscious of her social image and would take it out on others without thinking of the consequence. Where Brett Hundley and Asher First used to be the two biggest names, after James, muttered between people in the halls and during class, they’ve now been replaced with Aleks Marchant and Eddie “Sly” Cardona; and along with these new, much nicer people comes new, much nicer things being said. 

Quite literally overnight, Aleks and Sly have found themselves going from being outcast by their peers to being well-loved and respected by them, classmates that Aleks had never even _seen_ before will keep their eyes on him, flocking to follow him on Instagram even when he seldom posts on it. It’s shocking, yes, but he quickly accustoms to it and he begins to understand why James had been so eager to backstab him before in order to cement his own place. 

~

Summer comes and goes, and soon the group are seniors preparing to enter the real world in a few months. While many were still shocked to hear about James and Aleks, a new shock comes in the form of Lindsey and Anna revealing themselves as a couple too, proudly walking into the cafeteria hand-in-hand on the first morning of the new school year and topping off the show with the deepest kiss that they could manage. 

“So, is _this_ why you were always giving Asher the cold shoulder?” James asks when everyone has a chance to process what they’ve just witnessed. 

“I thought it was obvious that I wanted nothing to do with him,” Anna shrugs, “I was just waiting to see if I could ever shoot my shot with Lindsey, so I decided to spend my time humoring him.”

“I’d pay to see the face he’ll make when he finds out about this,” Aleks says while looking around to see if he can locate the person in question, at first to no avail but then he notices Sly looking toward the doorway visibly choking down a laugh. 

“Looks like we’re about to see that face,” he points everyone in the direction of the door, Brett currently standing near it wide-eyed as he rapidly types out a message to presumably send to Asher. No more than a couple of minutes later, Asher runs in and yells something at Brett, who just points in the direction of the old group. To rub salt into the wound, Anna brings Lindsey in for yet another kiss and the boys all but fold in on themselves laughing when Asher looks like he’s about to cry as he witnesses his crush making out with another girl. 

“Ok, ok, I think he gets the point,” James recovers from the laughing fit, “man, all of us really are assholes deep down huh?”

“Maybe, but unlike _those two_ it’s only toward the people who deserve it,” Aleks proudly adds on, having a bit of pride knowing that Brett is finally getting karma on how he unfairly treated him for years. 

~

The first day of their last semester brings a new challenge that the quintet had never thought they’d be facing, or rather a face that they never thought they’d be facing again. Everyone had barely finished their lunch when Brett abruptly throws himself down on a chair next to Aleks. 

“Ok, look. I know, all of you hate me now,” Brett gestures to Aleks, “and you especially have reason to hate me. But… Asher graduated a semester early and I’m fucking alone now.”

“And you think that we’re simply gonna to let you come back?” Lindsey glares at him, “we aren’t gonna feel sorry for you just because Asher left you alone.”

“I know, I know; that’s not my entire point.” Everyone looks at Brett, silently awaiting his next move. 

“Aleks,” he flinches when Brett says his name, “ever since that first day in 2nd grade when you moved here, I’ve always been an asshole to you. No reason for it, 8 year old me just… I guess fucking decided ‘hey, you should be mean to the new immigrant kid for no reason’. And I’ve played along with that act for nearly _ten years_ , making this group hate you for the same lack of reason; even _James_ was dragged into my shit,” Brett takes a long pause as he seemingly thinks of what to say next. Aleks looks absolutely shocked at what he’s heard so far, having always assumed that he had done something to Brett without his knowledge. 

“Dude, what I’m trying to say is that I’m sorry for being such a dick to you for all these years. I think what happened is that I saw you come in, take James’ attention away from me, and I felt like you had come between me and my best friend. Which… come to find out, that had always been one-sided but anyway-“

“Brett, I only said that because you had turned into such an asshole when middle school started. While I hated that you hated Aleks, I still saw you as such and I _still_ do. You’re my first and oldest friend and it fucking killed me to see you disown me so effortlessly,” James stands up and walks over to him, kneeling down next to Brett and he continues speaking, “while you obviously have some work to do before I can fully let you back in, I _do_ want you back in the group. But of course, it’s up to the others if they’re down for it too.”

“I say yeah,” Anna is the first to speak up, “as long as you can prove that you’re better now.”

“I’m still really suspicious of you guys,” Sly speaks next, “but so far Anna and Lindsey have shown that you’re not _all_ bad… so I guess I’m ok with it too.”

“You might be an asshole, but you’ve always been _our_ asshole. Of course I’ll give you a second chance.” With Lindsey’s opinion given, only Aleks remains to speak his. Initially, he sits and ponders what he should say. 

The entire time that Aleks had known Brett, he had been nothing but shitty to him. Realistically, Aleks _should_ probably say no, that he doesn’t want to give Brett another chance; it’s what he deserves, to be honest. But on the other hand, Brett just admitted that he didn’t even have any true motivation for hating Aleks, only feeling as though he had taken his best friend from him… which Aleks _really did_. Aleks looks around the table, seeing everyone’s eyes on him and with a deep breath, he gives his opinion:

“Actually be a friend to me this time, and yeah, I’ll give you a shot.”

Brett extends his hand to Aleks, “you’ve got a deal, my man.”

~

The bonfire between the group crackles brightly, now only serving as a source of warmth after the three bags of marshmallows that had been brought were all eaten. Sly and Brett pass a guitar back and forth, playing whatever songs they know and improvising when they run out of songs. Anna has drifted to sleep against Lindsey, who is struggling to find the _perfect_ angle to snap a selfie at so that she can taunt Anna about how cute she looks while sleeping later. James is also about to fall asleep, but then Aleks is suddenly dragging him further into the woods by his hand. 

“Dude, I’m not fucking you where the others can easily see us.”

“That’s not why I brought you here. I just wanted alone time… without the fucking,” Aleks sits down on a fallen tree, patting next to him to invite James down too. The two boys- well, maybe now _men_ since graduating high school and preparing for college- silently sit while holding hands. After a bit, Aleks rests his head on James’ shoulder and begins to talk. 

“Y’know, when my mom first mentioned moving to the US, I _hated_ the idea. Because that meant leaving my friends behind, having to learn a new language, the entire thing just sounded like it sucked to me. But then on my first day in an American school, this boy next to me offered a bag of neon orange triangles that he called ‘Doritos’ and insisted that I try one, so I did and it was one of the best things that 8 year old me had ever tasted. That was when I knew that everything was gonna be alright,” he leans up to kiss James and continues, “even if me and that boy were driven apart for a bit, we’ve found each other again and I know for sure that the bond between us is unbreakable. He’s even decided on giving up his dream school to attend the same college as me!”

James laughs, “he sounds like quite the friend.”

“Well, _boy_ friend, but I agree; he’s the best person I’ve ever met and I hope to never lose him.” Silence consumes the duo yet again, but it’s nowhere near awkward. Aleks has had exactly _one_ thought on James for a while now and he sees this as his best opportunity to tell him. 

“Ok look, I know that we’re only 18-“

“I turned 19 last week, asswipe.” 

“Dude shut up; anyway, I know that we’re both still really young, have our whole lives ahead of us, whatever. But… I really think that I see you in my future. I’m not- I’m not proposing to you, but I really hope to down the line when we’re in a better place.”

James fondly smiles at Aleks, throwing an arm around his shoulders and kissing him on his jaw, “I can see you in my future too. But I think for right now, we need to focus on college before we start thinking about future plans beyond that. After all, don’t forget that I gave up my dream school to stay with your clingy ass!” James playfully pushes Aleks off of the log they were sitting on, but he couldn’t even begin to bring himself to be mad at James. 

“Yeah… later.” Aleks pulls James down with him, causing him to land on top of him and they share a deep, loving kiss. 

“Ok… I know what I said, but-“

“HEY, HEY, you two better not be fucking over there!” Brett suddenly reveals himself from the foliage, Aleks quickly throwing James off of him. 

“Hell no, dude! We were talking and then this asshole pushed me down so I brought him down with me!”

“Yeah, alright; well hurry up, Anna says she wants to tell us some ghost stories and you know how she gets if we make her wait on us,” Brett begins walking back to the bonfire. After standing up himself, James extends a hand to Aleks to help pull him up and leans in close to his ear. 

“Just wait until we get home tomorrow; I’m gonna show you how ready I am for our future together.”

Aleks grins, “oh, I think I’m ready for it.”


End file.
